The Joke Thread

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Entreri
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The Joke Thread

Unread postby Entreri » 06 Jun 2006, 21:16

Ok,just tell a joke of anykind so we can all share a laught :D


Ok il start but u all probably know this one:why arent ppl playing poker in Africa???

Cuz ther a lot of CHEATAS!!!

i know its lame ;|
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Milla aka. the Slayer
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Unread postby Milla aka. the Slayer » 06 Jun 2006, 21:21

:lolu:

I'm just laughing to make you feel better :-D

It was the kind of lame that actually works a bit..
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Unread postby ThunderTitan » 06 Jun 2006, 21:30

Lame jokes? Sure, here you go:
Where do women have curly hair?

In Africa of course.

Works better in my own tongue.
Disclaimer: May contain sarcasm!
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Unread postby DaemianLucifer » 06 Jun 2006, 21:32

- Why did you kill your wife on your second wedding night?
- Because she wasnt a virgin.
- Then why didnt you act on your first wedding night?
- Oh,she was a virgin then.

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Unread postby Entreri » 06 Jun 2006, 21:38

:lolu:

Ok another one from me :

-It sure is fun to have sex!!
-How do u know?
-A guy that watched told me so.

Was this better Milla B-) :proud: :devious:
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Unread postby Milla aka. the Slayer » 06 Jun 2006, 21:39

Totally :lolu:
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Unread postby DaemianLucifer » 06 Jun 2006, 21:43

Two programers walk down the street and see a gorgeus girl walking with her boyfriend.The first one says:"Oh my!Check out the properties on that one!".And the second one replies:"Too bad shes just read only".

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Unread postby Milla aka. the Slayer » 06 Jun 2006, 21:47

Oh dear...I must be tired..didn't get that one..
This minor magical charm captures the viewer's attention and distra... ooo, pretty...
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Unread postby Entreri » 06 Jun 2006, 21:52

ROFL GOOD ONE DL!!!!

Ok one more from me and im off:
Two blondes go down a street and they find a mirro
-Oh look a picture with me on it
The other one takes it and says:
-Man ur butt-ugly


Sorry to all the inteligent blondes out ther :devil:
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Unread postby DaemianLucifer » 06 Jun 2006, 21:55

Entreri wrote:ROFL GOOD ONE DL!!!!

Ok one more from me and im off:
Two blondes go down a street and they find a mirro
-Oh look a picture with me on it
The other one takes it and says:
-Man ur butt-ugly


Sorry to all the inteligent blondes out ther :devil:
Pray to god Pernille doesnt hear you :devious:

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Unread postby Milla aka. the Slayer » 06 Jun 2006, 21:56

Entreri wrote:ROFL GOOD ONE DL!!!!

Ok one more from me and im off:
Two blondes go down a street and they find a mirro
-Oh look a picture with me on it
The other one takes it and says:
-Man ur butt-ugly


Sorry to all the inteligent blondes out ther :devil:
Funny.. :-D

Be careful though. Pernille might hear it...shh..
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Unread postby DaemianLucifer » 06 Jun 2006, 22:09

A girl sleeps over in her grand parrents hows,and one morning she strolls naked.Her granny walks on her,and is quite shocked:"Oh,my!You are completely naked!";"Im not granny,this is the new fashion.Its the 21st century dress"

That evening the grandma decides to go to bed naked.Grand pa sees her and says:"Whats wrong with you woman?You have nothing on!";"Oh please,youre so out of fashin.This is the 21st century dress";"Then why didnt you iron it first?"

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Unread postby Entreri » 06 Jun 2006, 22:17

:D:D:D:D:D

First weading night the husband gives a chicken to his wwife and says:
-Prepare it good for sunday
So the woman goes to her friend with a black eye on sunday and she asks her what happend she said:
-My husband told me to prepare the chicken for sunday and i didnt know what chickens wear so i just putted her in some fancy dress and he got pissed!!!

B-)
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Unread postby Milla aka. the Slayer » 06 Jun 2006, 22:20

Maybe I should try and keep Pernille from seeing the blondes-joke 8|

@entreri: That one was weird. I got it though :oex:
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Unread postby [T]osHiro » 07 Jun 2006, 07:13

You want humour? And I thought the whole forum is full of it, especially with DL, TT, Corribus and Gravyluvr (just to name a few) around...

Here's a song that will probably keep you laughing, contributed by Fenris.

Note: Try to sing with it.. ;)
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Unread postby Kalah » 07 Jun 2006, 08:36

Here's a sordid one:

A blind man is seen walking along the beach with a parasol in one hand and an inflatable Pamela under the other. People look at him in wonder as he lies down under his parasol right next to the doll. Eventually one man cannot contain his curiosity and goes up to him:
"Excuse me, sir..."
"Yes?"
"I couldn't help at notice... I have to ask - why did you bring an inflatable Pamela to the beach?"
"Is that what this is? Crikey! That means I've been humping the rubber dinghy all winter!"
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Unread postby Xenofex.XVII » 07 Jun 2006, 08:49

This one is nice:

The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed.

I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why,the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST,GO!!!" Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and wavedand smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.

I asked my two kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed, looked at each other, giggled and told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. Several cars behind, a very nice black man stepped out of his car and yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like, "Mother trucker," or "Mother's from there." Maybe he was from Florida, too. He must really love the lord.

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed that the light had changed, and stepped on the gas. And a good thing I did, because I was the only driver to get across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there. I leaned way out the window, gave them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign, as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks.
;)
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Unread postby DaemianLucifer » 07 Jun 2006, 12:18

Keep Pernille away for this one as well:

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had
great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked
her
how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and
all
the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were
killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest
of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the
quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!

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Unread postby Milla aka. the Slayer » 07 Jun 2006, 13:37

Oh dear...oh..the last two ones were really great!! :rofl: :lolu:
Bring us some more :beg:
This minor magical charm captures the viewer's attention and distra... ooo, pretty...
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Unread postby Vlad976 » 07 Jun 2006, 13:43

Since we're on the subject of blondes...
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee."
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