Studio Commentary: "As you know, yesterday was the day off for most of our staff; a sickday negotiated long ago when it became clear Sundays would no longer be paying extra. So here's this week's edition of: the Round Table Weekly!
Anchor: "Here in the studio we have HodgePodge, along with her two friends MinceMeat and ScrambledEggs. Welcome. I see you are all wearing T-shirts with the word "Boycott" written on them..."
MinceMeat: "Yeah, 'aint they nice? We make 'em ourselves, and they're available for the price of only 2 GP."
Anchor: "What does the writing signify?"
ScrambledEggs: "Well, we're looking for boys, obviously."
Anchor: "Say what?"
ScrambledEggs: "We run after boys, and when we catch them, they're cott."
HodgePodge: "That's not what it means!"
ScrambledEggs: "It's not?"
HodgePodge: "No! Boycott means to refuse to buy, or refuse to take part in something as a way of protesting!"
Anchor: "Good, tell me about it."
HodgePodge: "We are here today to declare that we are boycotting games with StarForce in them! The..."
ScrambledEggs: *interrupts* "StarForce who?"
HodgePodge: "What, not who! StarForce is a program that sneaks into your computer when you install the game! It's immoral, illegal in some countries, and our goal is to see the end of such proliferation! The destruction of the spyware industry! See to it that everyone may be free of..."
Anchor: *interrupts* "Excuse me, but we're on a clock here. The technicians break for lunch in ten minutes. Can you tell me a bit about those large banners you've brought with you?"
HodgePodge: "Yes! We are here in the name of all gamers! In the name of freedom for all mankind! These banners symbolise the enduring struggle for..."
Anchor: *interrupts* "How many members does your organisation have?"
ScrambledEggs: "God, you're handsome."
Anchor: "Thanks, I know. HodgePodge?"
HodgePodge: "Well, at the moment, there's the three of us, and eight more on the forum, and there's one over at the Behemoth's Lair..."
MinceMeat: "Don't forget that guy at the Genie's Lamp."
HodgePodge: "Indeed - and he said he could get his dad to sign up..."
Anchor: "Hang on a minute. I was under the impression that there were thousands of you? 'In the name of all gamers', and all that?"
HodgePodge: "Yes, well, not yet, obviously. We have to get the message out to the people first. The message that the days of the spyware industry are numbered! That the time has come for..."
ScrambledEggs: "Are you single?"
Anchor: "Sorry, love. So, HodgePodge, this 'message' - it doesn't filter out to the people by itself? It needs encouragement?"
HodgePodge: "Naturally, we have to educate the people - to make them understand what a good point we're making."
Anchor: "I see - like the communists?"
HodgePodge: "No! What I mean is... Which side are you on, anyway!?"
Anchor: "Me, oh no - the media doesn't take sides; we report the events of the world with neutral, objective eyes. A true depiction of every case, covered from every possible angle... *blah-blah-blah*
Studio Commentary: "Notice how the interviewer begins making speeches of his own, once his ideologies are questioned. Now, we've had many calls about the suit he is wearing; it is a fine mohair single band made by our own tailors here at the studio. It can be purchased for the sum of only fifteen GP. If you like it, or anything else our reporter is wearing, please give us a call at 555-EATMYSHORTS, and talk to one of our lovely switchboard operators. Now, let's get back to the action..."
Anchor: "... and that's why bananas are yellow."
HodgePodge: "And that's why we are boycotting them! If you knew about the dangers of that colour being present in our daily lives..."
Anchor: "Yes, yes - look; many moderate people would sympathize with your views on bananas, but tell me: what's this nonsense about abolishing the use of the Death Ripple spell?"
HodgePodge: "The Death Ripple spell has been found to have a detrimental effect on plants and wildlife in the area around battlefields! We demand an immediate and permanent solution, by the removal of said spell from the roster, as well as...
MinceMeat: *interrupts* "Would you like to try one of my cookies?"
Anchor: "Ooh, yummy... Mmm, very good. Did you make them yourselves?"
MinceMeat: "Yes. My mom's recipe."
Anchor: *munch* "Lovely."
HodgePodge: "What has this got to do with...! Arrrgh!! You're not listening to meee! Scrambs, hand me that flamethrower!"
Anchor: "Um... security."
In War: Resolution, In Defeat: Defiance, In Victory: Magnanimity, In Peace: Goodwill.