Winterfate's RT News Thread

[winterfate]

Exactly!

And now, for a special edition of my news thread.

Of Handicapped Spaces and Isabel

Hello, this is winterfate signing in. Today we will place a camera over one of Ashan's most famous malls, the Eagle's Den. Why, you ask? Simple. Read on and find out.

I arrive near the Eagle's Den and install the camera. Afterwards, I clean my tracks and teleport out of the scene of the "crime". I return to my house to observe...

winterfate: Ok...now to see who drives over to buy something...

Fifteen minutes later...

winterfate: My first victim!

Findan arrives dressed in green, in a green car, with green tires, and heads towards one of the spaces in the Green lot.

winterfate: I take it he likes green?

Findan parks in the space closest to the mall and gets out of the car.

Findan:

Today is a wonderful
Day. It is so full
Of life and not cruel...


*winterfate turns off the camera for several seconds*

winterfate: Ugh...my ears. That's terrible, even for his standards...

*turns on camera again*

Several minutes later...

winterfate: Another one!

Biara arrives in a red car. It's hood is breathing fire and it looks like it's alive.

winterfate: Ooooooook...HOW did she get out of my Maze?

Biara gets out of the car and starts talking:

Biara: Stupid winterfate. Wait till I get him. At least that daft Isabel is still locked in the maze. She'll never get out now...thanks to the fact that I dropped some notes on exponential growth near the entrance...

Biara walks into the mall as several men start fighting amongst themselves, trying to reach her...

winterfate: She's good...too good. Maybe I should've Imprisioned her? Oh well...

An hour later...

Isabel arrives...in a carriage...pulled by two Peasants.

winterfate: ?!

Isabel: Oh my! Where are the parking spaces?

winterfate: Noooo!!! You gotta be kidding me! Anywhere?? Anyways, how did SHE get out of my Maze?!

Elrath appears next to me, suddenly.

Elrath: I busted her out.
winterfate: Why?!

Elrath: She carries my blessing.
winterfate: Eww...the only thing she should be carrying is an extra brain.

Elrath: Silence, insolent mortal!!!
winterfate: *stays silent*

Elrath: If you try that again, my wrath will be great indeed!
winterfate: What are you going to do...summon Phoenix Guards on me?

Elrath: Darn...my perfect plan foiled!!! *leaves as suddenly as he appeared*

winterfate: Let's check on Isabel again, shall we?

Isabel is still looking for a parking space. One of the Peasants has died of exhaustion and the other one is now holding up the carriage alone.

winterfate: Those Peasants are bred tough...poor guys. Oh look! Another shopper!

Raelag appears driving a jet black car.

Isabel: My love!
Raelag: Dear Isabel...what are you doing in the middle of the parking lots?

Isabel: These are parking lots?
Raelag: Yes my love. Ditch the carriage and hop in! We're going to sha....shop all night long!

Isabel: Yay!

Isabel gets into Raelag's car, as he parks right next to where Isabel was with her carriage. They both get out and enter the mall...

winterfate: Ugh...this is mind-numbing...I'll continue this at another time!

Until then, stay tuned for the next part of my news thread's special edition episode: Of Handicapped Spaces and Isabel

Take care and may all your rolls be lucky!

[asandir]

a burst of inspiration? good to see though, now that I've embarked on a grand game (which might just be a bit of work)

[winterfate]

Yeah!

Btw, did you catch the obscure BG reference?

[asandir]

nope, unless you're talking about imprisonment?

[winterfate]

Nope, not obscure enough.

Elrath: If you try that again, my wrath will be great indeed!
winterfate: What are you going to do...summon Phoenix Guards on me?

Elrath's line is an almost direct rip from an Easter Egg in BG.

I won't explain it anymore for now, to see if someone can figure it out.
If no one can, then I will.

[asandir]

musta missed it ....

[Gaidal Cain]

Nope, not obscure enough.

Elrath: If you try that again, my wrath will be great indeed!
winterfate: What are you going to do...summon Phoenix Guards on me?

Elrath's line is an almost direct rip from an Easter Egg in BG.

Is that the guy you summon in Nashkel by clicking on one of the graves?

[winterfate]

@Gaidal Cain:

It's a pretty interesting Easter Egg, and somewhat exploitable as well (*cough*Oublek's Emeralds*cough* ).

[winterfate]

I arrive in front of my news station.

winterfate: Knock knock.

Voice: Who's there?

winterfate: winter

Voice: Winter who?

winterfate: winterfate!

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Jenova: Get in here right this instant!!!

winterfate: Why the rush? Have I been missed?

Jenova: This news station is falling apart...that's the rush! And... of course you've been missed!

winterfate: Aw, thank you very much! So...what do you mean this news station is falling apart?

Jenova: Look around.

I look around.

I see King Findan is reciting haikus.

winterfate: What is HE doing here?

Jenova: Well, after YOU left for your extended hiatus, HE decided to fund the news station...just so he could have a greater audience for his haikus.

winterfate: Ugh...I would've preferred the station to shut down. Anyways, don't you have a fortune stashed away somewhere?

Jenova: Yes, I do.

winterfate: So?

Jenova: Um...it's a bit...how should I say...inaccessible at the moment.

winterfate:

Jenova: It's somewhere in one of the floating rocks of whatever's left of Erathia.

winterfate: Ow...

Jenova: Tell me about it...

I look around the news station some more.

I see Queen Isabel trying to fix a broken pillar of stone by using wood and glue.

winterfate: When did she learn to...

Jenova: Use glue? Well...she drove four teachers to suicide and two others worked in tandem to teach her. Those two are now taking an extended leave of absence...in an asylum.

winterfate:

*uncomfortable silence*

winterfate: Ohkay.......so, why is she here?

Jenova: Well, how could you not take pity on someone who's IQ threatens to drop below 0?

winterfate: I challenge your question and replace it with my own.

Jenova: Sure...go ahead.

winterfate: Can an Isabel work quicker than a Slaking?

Jenova: A what?

winterfate: A Slaking is a Pokémon...

Jenova: Oh!

winterfate: Yup...it's what I've mostly been doing in the last month. Anyways, a Slaking is a Pokémon that is so slothful, that even in battle, it can only attack every other turn.

Jenova: There's no way that Pokémon is going to beat Isabel in a working challenge. It's too slow!

winterfate: Wanna bet?

Jenova: We'll see...

winterfate:

I take out a Poké Ball out of my backpack and throw it to the ground.

winterfate: Go! Slaking!

Slaking: Sla...king!!!

Jenova: Do ALL Pokémon do that?

winterfate: Do what?

Jenova: Say their own names like that?

winterfate: Most of them...

Jenova: Oh.

winterfate: Anyways...should we try this out?

Jenova: Sure...there's a blackboard that needs fixing. Have your Pokémon fix the left side and I'll have Isabel fix the right side. First one to finish wins.

winterfate: Ok. Sound the gong!!!

Jenova:

winterfate: To all of our viewers, we will be dividing this challenge into turns, so it can all be organized in a neat fashion...ok?
Also, each challenger will have a hammer, three slabs of limestone, a saw, a screwdriver, some glue and a slab of cheese to make the blackboard with.
Anyways, let the challenge BEGIN!!!

Slaking vs Isabel

Turn 1

Slaking notices the table with the stuff.
Isabel notices the table with the stuff.

Turn 2

Slaking falls asleep while standing up.
Isabel picks up the slab of cheese and examines it.

Turn 3

Slaking wakes up. Slaking picks up the hammer and a slab of limestone.
Isabel goes over to the blackboard and spreads the cheese all over the broken parts of the blackboard.

Turn 4

Slaking notices he has a green hair sticking out of his arm. He skips his turn picking at it.
Isabel tries to convince me and Jenova that she has fixed the blackboard.

Turn 5

Slaking reaches the blackboard and starts bashing the limestone into usable pieces.
Jenova "kindly" explains to Isabel that you do not fix a blackboard by using cheese...

Turn 6

Slaking notices how pretty the limestone pieces look. Skips his turn.
Jenova sends Isabel off, with explicit orders to fetch the limestone, the hammer and the glue.

Turn 7

Slaking notices that he's missing the glue. He leaves everything else on the ground and heads back to the table to grab the glue.
Isabel fetches the materials and heads back to Jenova.

Turn 8

Slaking reaches the bottle of glue and then forgets why he was there. He stares dumbfounded at the bottle of glue.
Jenova scolds Isabel and tells her that the materials are for fixing the blackboard.

Turn 9

Slaking remembers what he was doing and reaches the blackboard, with all necessary tools in hand.
Isabel asks Jenova to explain to her what a blackboard is.

Turn 10

Slaking scratches his head in utter confusion.
Jenova slaps Isabel fiercely and orders her to go to the blackboard and fix it.

Turn 11

Slaking starts fitting the pieces of limestone into appropriately sized gaps
and gluing them in there.
Isabel reaches the blackboard, takes the glue and tries to glue one whole slab of limestone onto the blackboard and then goes back to the table.

Turn 12

Slaking's side has one gap left, but then he notices that his breath smells really bad. Thusly, he skipped ze action...yah!
Isabel grabs the saw and starts trying to saw her way to victory.
Jenova moves over to my side and remarks that Isabel is indeed brain dead.

Turn 13

Slaking finishes fixing his side of the blackboard and then heads toward Isabel's side.
Isabel tries to slash at Slaking with the saw.

[the rest of this bout has been censored for the sake of the kiddies]

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Well guys...it only seemed fitting to write up another interview...especially since tLD considers this thread a memorable part of the Campfire (and I'm deeply honored by that )

Also, seeing as how there's been a drought of literature recently (and yes, I do realize I never had my literary bout with Kareeah, something I'd like to have, one of these days...even though we all know she'll win. ), I thought it'd be nice to revive this thread.

I don't guarantee any rate of posting in this thread, considering that my classes start over in two days...but I'll try my best to keep it alive (don't have Tribes of the East though...so, that's not helping, but I'll find things to write about. )

ANYWAYS...that would be it until the next time guys!

May all your rolls be lucky!!!

[Ceres]

Very entertaining winterfate! I find it funny though... Isabel is... well, nevermind. I enjoyed reading this.

[winterfate]

I'm glad you enjoyed it Ceres!

In your spare time, you should check the other pages of this thread (if you haven't already) so you can read all of the ones I've written over the months.

[Ceres]

Oh sure thing winterfate! And I'm hoping for updates too.

[winterfate]

We'll see...I have to get my creative juices working again.

[winterfate]

And I think my creative juices are working!

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Two days have passed since the fall of Isabel to a lowly slothful Pokémon who should not be named. She was summarily kicked out of the news station with 1 gold piece and two pounds of cheese to her name.

winterfate: How much money do we have left, Jenova?

Jenova: Including the 1 piece we gave Isabel...2.

winterfate: So you mean...

Jenova: ...we have 1 gold piece left? Exactly!

winterfate: But, what about Findan?

Jenova: He figured out his haiku skills were sub-par and left the station, with all of his money.

winterfate: How can you run a station with only 1 gold piece?

Jenova: Well, most maintenance costs are in coppers and silvers, salaries tend to also be in coppers and silvers, food...

winterfate: Ok...ok...I get it, but how much time do we have left before we run out of money?

Jenova: If I said one day, would you believe me?

winterfate:

Jenova: Of course, I have a plan.

winterfate: Please tell!

Jenova: Well, we could always have a fund-raiser.

winterfate: Hmmm...go on.

Jenova: However, there's a problem.

winterfate: What kind of problem?

Jenova: You managed to anger, tick off and otherwise totally irritate a lot of the major funders of the station.

winterfate: How did I do that?

Jenova: Well, you lost Nival when you humilliated their representative, time and time again.

winterfate: *nods in agreement*

Jenova: The Coalition of Angry Mode...

winterfate: HUH?

Jenova: You didn't know there was a Coalition of Angry Moderators?

winterfate:

Jenova: Well, the CAM, for short, is angry at the fact that you've repeatedly defied the establishment.

winterfate: The establishment being Nival?

Jenova: Correct. Now, the Coalition of Isabel Fans...

winterfate: Aw...you've gotta be...[censored]...kidding me!

Jenova: Potty-mouth! Yes...as disturbing as it seems, there IS a Coalition of Isabel Fans, and they docked their funding after your humilliation of Isabel.

winterfate: Great...who does that leave?

Jenova: Only everyone else you've ever interviewed!

winterfate: So...what are we waiting for?

Jenova: Well...it's only proper that you be the one to go over and parley with them.

winterfate: Aw...but I don't want to...

Jenova: *sigh* So, what would you rather do?

winterfate: The Interview of the Century!!!

Jenova: Right...with one gold piece. You know the expression, spend money to make money, right?

winterfate: I also have a plan!

Jenova: Please do tell!

winterfate: It's a surprise!

I head off into the solitude of my office to implement my plan.

Stay tuned for the next installment in my thread.

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[Kareeah Indaga]

Ooo...looking forward to it!

[Elvin]

You managed to lose the future support from those?

[winterfate]

@Elvin: It's a dog eat dog world, my friend!

If you guys haven't done so already, you should read my other interviews (located in this very thread).

It's good for a few laughs at least, I guarantee it!

[Elvin]

The pokemon sequence kinda lost me.

[winterfate]

It's kinda obscure...but it came to mind for some sinister reason.

Ok...I'll explain:

Like I mentioned in the respective interview, Slaking (and it's pre-evolution, Slakoth, for that matter) can only attack (or act) once every two turns. I was mocking Isabel's intelligence by having such a slow Pokémon best her. And...the end sequence is up to your imagination...I imagined the Slaking beating her up for injuring him...

P.S: The ability in question is called Truant, if you've ever played 3rd or 4th generation Pokémon games (those for the GBA or DS).

[Elvin]

I think I had played emerald but did not bother exploring everything or learning all attacks.