The Joke Thread

Light-hearted discussions, forum games and anything that doesn't fit into the other forums.
Tech Corner - Firewalls, AV etc. - Report Bugs - Board Rules
User avatar
Pol
Admin
Admin
Posts: 10056
Joined: 29 Nov 2005
Location: IN SOMNIS VERITAS
Contact:

Unread postby Pol » 16 Apr 2008, 11:01

Difference approach in designing personal vehicles for USA and more EU eastern countries.
Image Image
"We made it!"
The Archives | Collection of H3&WoG files | Older albeit still useful | CH Downloads
PC Specs: A10-7850K, FM2A88X+K, 16GB-1600, SSD-MLC-G3, 1TB-HDD-G3, MAYA44, SP10 500W Be Quiet

User avatar
Pol
Admin
Admin
Posts: 10056
Joined: 29 Nov 2005
Location: IN SOMNIS VERITAS
Contact:

Unread postby Pol » 16 Apr 2008, 11:21

Lets continue ... ;)
Image Image Image

Are you also eggs killer? ^
"We made it!"
The Archives | Collection of H3&WoG files | Older albeit still useful | CH Downloads
PC Specs: A10-7850K, FM2A88X+K, 16GB-1600, SSD-MLC-G3, 1TB-HDD-G3, MAYA44, SP10 500W Be Quiet

User avatar
arturchix
Titan
Titan
Posts: 1352
Joined: 06 Jan 2006
Location: Latvia

Unread postby arturchix » 08 May 2008, 13:25

Some tech jokes. :)

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

===============


Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my disk out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

===============

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

===============

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Customer: Hello I'm Andrea ... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and...
Customer: Listen; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.


===============

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

============== =

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

===============

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.

===============

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...

===============

Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?

===============

Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

===============

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

===============

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

===============

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

===============

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'

===============

And last but not least...

Tech support: 'Okay Carol, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Carol.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Carol.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

User avatar
Muszka
Round Table Hero
Round Table Hero
Posts: 2568
Joined: 06 Jan 2006
Location: Nowhereland

Unread postby Muszka » 09 May 2008, 14:35

My tears came out :up: :lolu:
"Rage against the system, the system, what kills the human spirit."

User avatar
Pol
Admin
Admin
Posts: 10056
Joined: 29 Nov 2005
Location: IN SOMNIS VERITAS
Contact:

Unread postby Pol » 17 May 2008, 15:47

Image
:D
"We made it!"
The Archives | Collection of H3&WoG files | Older albeit still useful | CH Downloads
PC Specs: A10-7850K, FM2A88X+K, 16GB-1600, SSD-MLC-G3, 1TB-HDD-G3, MAYA44, SP10 500W Be Quiet

User avatar
Pol
Admin
Admin
Posts: 10056
Joined: 29 Nov 2005
Location: IN SOMNIS VERITAS
Contact:

Unread postby Pol » 17 May 2008, 16:22

Image
For admins only. :proud:
"We made it!"
The Archives | Collection of H3&WoG files | Older albeit still useful | CH Downloads
PC Specs: A10-7850K, FM2A88X+K, 16GB-1600, SSD-MLC-G3, 1TB-HDD-G3, MAYA44, SP10 500W Be Quiet

User avatar
Muszka
Round Table Hero
Round Table Hero
Posts: 2568
Joined: 06 Jan 2006
Location: Nowhereland

Unread postby Muszka » 18 May 2008, 20:18

I thought I understand all IT jokes, but this is beyond me...
"Rage against the system, the system, what kills the human spirit."

User avatar
Kalah
Retired Admin
Retired Admin
Posts: 20078
Joined: 24 Nov 2005

Unread postby Kalah » 19 May 2008, 02:38

It's sort of a delete code, isn't it?
In War: Resolution, In Defeat: Defiance, In Victory: Magnanimity, In Peace: Goodwill.

User avatar
Pol
Admin
Admin
Posts: 10056
Joined: 29 Nov 2005
Location: IN SOMNIS VERITAS
Contact:

Unread postby Pol » 19 May 2008, 05:42

Kalah wrote:It's sort of a delete code, isn't it?
Yep. ;)
(it will drop, which means erase, table with students when is not taken furher care about text input, ie input is not sanitized-placed in some container or something...)
"We made it!"
The Archives | Collection of H3&WoG files | Older albeit still useful | CH Downloads
PC Specs: A10-7850K, FM2A88X+K, 16GB-1600, SSD-MLC-G3, 1TB-HDD-G3, MAYA44, SP10 500W Be Quiet

User avatar
darknessfood
Round Table Hero
Round Table Hero
Posts: 4009
Joined: 02 Jul 2007
Location: Netherlands
Contact:

Unread postby darknessfood » 19 May 2008, 10:22

Well, i understood them. Watched them in class (yeah i study IT) and classmates also enjoyed them...
You can either agree with me, or be wrong...

User avatar
Kalah
Retired Admin
Retired Admin
Posts: 20078
Joined: 24 Nov 2005

Unread postby Kalah » 19 May 2008, 12:52

James May wrote:This is the Mercedes McClaren SLR Roadster, which is now officially the fastest convertible in the world. That'll do 206 miles per hour with the roof down. But: if a blue bottle flies over the top of the windscreen at that speed, and hits you in the middle of your forhead, it'll go straight through... its own ass.
In War: Resolution, In Defeat: Defiance, In Victory: Magnanimity, In Peace: Goodwill.

User avatar
Muszka
Round Table Hero
Round Table Hero
Posts: 2568
Joined: 06 Jan 2006
Location: Nowhereland

Unread postby Muszka » 19 May 2008, 13:16

Kalah wrote:It's sort of a delete code, isn't it?
Oh, I didn't had problems with that one..., I just didn't got the humor.
"Rage against the system, the system, what kills the human spirit."

User avatar
theLuckyDragon
Round Table Knight
Round Table Knight
Posts: 4883
Joined: 06 Jan 2006

Unread postby theLuckyDragon » 22 May 2008, 06:06

1) The more swiss cheese there is, the more holes there are.
2) The more holes there are, the less swiss cheese there is.

Conclusion: More swiss cheese means less swiss cheese.
"Not all those who wander are lost." -- JRRT

User avatar
Kalah
Retired Admin
Retired Admin
Posts: 20078
Joined: 24 Nov 2005

Unread postby Kalah » 23 May 2008, 17:38

Jeremy: "Handling, what do we think?"
James: "Well, I think it's got a 'can-do' attitude, very go-ahead."
Jeremy: "Yah, a bit slow, but handles quite well... styling?"
James: "Very blue sky, yeah, I like it."
Jeremy: "Price?"
James: "I don't think it's competitive in a retail high-street environment."
Jeremy: "Ride comfort?"
James: "Yeah, I think there are serious optimization issues with ride comfort, to be honest."
Jeremy: "Trim?"
James: "It fails to meet targets vis-a-vis interior plastics quality issues in the community."
Jeremy: "Rear seat space?"
James: "Well, it's about managing expectations, and frankly, there's a sort of expectations shortfall in the BMW..."
Jeremy: "Boot space?"
James: "It's rubbish."
Like how James builds up with quasi-critic language only to roudn it up with a short comment. :)
In War: Resolution, In Defeat: Defiance, In Victory: Magnanimity, In Peace: Goodwill.

User avatar
Kalah
Retired Admin
Retired Admin
Posts: 20078
Joined: 24 Nov 2005

Unread postby Kalah » 07 Jun 2008, 12:22

In War: Resolution, In Defeat: Defiance, In Victory: Magnanimity, In Peace: Goodwill.

User avatar
arturchix
Titan
Titan
Posts: 1352
Joined: 06 Jan 2006
Location: Latvia

Unread postby arturchix » 15 Jun 2008, 20:54

Sorry, but I can't stop laughing after watching this. :lolu:

The comparison of two dark lords - Sauron vs Voldemort

User avatar
Kalah
Retired Admin
Retired Admin
Posts: 20078
Joined: 24 Nov 2005

Unread postby Kalah » 15 Jun 2008, 21:42

Meh. Bore me. :devious:
In War: Resolution, In Defeat: Defiance, In Victory: Magnanimity, In Peace: Goodwill.

User avatar
Kalah
Retired Admin
Retired Admin
Posts: 20078
Joined: 24 Nov 2005

Unread postby Kalah » 18 Jun 2008, 20:32

Swedish commentator after 89 minutes, as the Russians lead 2-0:

"Could we hope for ten-twelve minutes of added time?"

:D
In War: Resolution, In Defeat: Defiance, In Victory: Magnanimity, In Peace: Goodwill.

User avatar
Muszka
Round Table Hero
Round Table Hero
Posts: 2568
Joined: 06 Jan 2006
Location: Nowhereland

Unread postby Muszka » 19 Jun 2008, 08:40

I doubt that would have been enough...
"Rage against the system, the system, what kills the human spirit."

User avatar
Kalah
Retired Admin
Retired Admin
Posts: 20078
Joined: 24 Nov 2005

Unread postby Kalah » 01 Jul 2008, 00:17

Image

:lolu:
In War: Resolution, In Defeat: Defiance, In Victory: Magnanimity, In Peace: Goodwill.


Return to “Campfire”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 28 guests