Randomness - vol. IV

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Pol
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Re: Randomness - vol. IV

Postby Pol » Jun 6 2019, 9:14

Dragon's Tree with Dragon's Tears (or blood, from Island Sokotra, Yemen)
This is because their resin is red, they don't grow anywhere else.
~wiki

Image
Last edited by Pol on Jun 6 2019, 9:16, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Randomness - vol. IV

Postby Panda Tar » Jun 6 2019, 14:38

I love these trees. :) Socotra is a very special island, but it's in Yemen. Not the safest country around to visit these days. :(
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Re: Randomness - vol. IV

Postby Kalah » Jun 17 2019, 11:09

These trees are actually developed to conserve every bit of water possible, the very shape of it has evolved to get morning dew dripping down the trunk. Love it. :)
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Re: Randomness - vol. IV

Postby Yurian Stonebow » Jun 17 2019, 20:04

I'm back from a long trip through personal inferno, deep depression and suicidal thoughts.
Don't worry if things are going badly today. They will be much worse tomorrow.

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Re: Randomness - vol. IV

Postby Pol » Jun 18 2019, 10:19

@Yurian
Welcome back! Depressions are a no good for living. This particular part of year will be hot and sun, so you can draw your energy right from the source. Nothing can surpass Power of The Sun! :D

Thought some of us, including me, wish to get a colder days. Neverthless 2019 looks like a good year, with fine blend or raining and sunshine, so everyone enjoy, when it last ;)
Last edited by Pol on Jun 18 2019, 20:48, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Randomness - vol. IV

Postby Panda Tar » Jun 21 2019, 19:14

Yurian Stonebow wrote:I'm back from a long trip through personal inferno, deep depression and suicidal thoughts.


Yo, Yurian, you must seek help. I was in a bad shape last several years, going to and fro depression and life started to get stuck, everything felt like needed doing, but nothing would, then we start to beat ourselves, blame ourselves for having no ability to fight back, control what we could and whatnot. And it's never a weakness seeking help; on the contrary, you must be strong to acknowledge it.

January was when I started my psychotherapy. It was the best decision of my life for a long time. Nowadays, medications are not catastrophic as in the past. But you might need it to balance your mind for a while, then you get to have some time with psychologist, and day by day, slowly, you will get better. It's not a miracle, mind you. All results, including medication, depends on your will to get better. This is when your strength comes into play. Psychiatrist, Psychologists, they just give you a push, hold your hand a bit, but you are the one to learn how to walk and fly.

You cannot let it go unchecked. It is very important, specially when you start having suicidal thoughts (or plans, which is even worse). Right? Take care of yourself, because you have people who like you, love you. When you love yourself and take care of yourself, you give them back all love they have for you, for you want the best for them as well, right?

Stay safe.
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Re: Randomness - vol. IV

Postby Steven Aus » Jun 21 2019, 22:36

I'm just letting you know I am in the same or a similar boat. I have however seeked help and will get more and more help in future. Please Yurian, get the help you need. I have come this close, it's no joke, even picked up a knife multiple times. I checked myself into hospital three times, two times to ED and third time into a voluntary mental health ward where I couldn't hurt myself, and I know this may not be an option for you because of cost, but please, do whatever you can to stay safe and recover, and I reiterate what Panda says about psychotherapy and psychiatric drugs and the power of the human spirit.

I'm with you brother, and I know what you're going through.

I also want to thank you for the H4 War of the Ring map too, a great piece of Heroes. And you are a Hero too.

Let's win this.

- Steven.
Last edited by Steven Aus on Jun 21 2019, 22:41, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Randomness - vol. IV

Postby Quantomas » Jun 22 2019, 10:23

Hey Yurian,

You helped me when no one would. I won't forget that. Your life is not meaningless.

I stood next to the abyss, the real one. When you are a scientist and work on stuff that has the potential to open the gate to a new age, you have to face the consequences of what you do and also have to see how f***** up our society is and that it warps everything. The key is, when you stand next to the abyss don't look into it. Have faith in yourself and you will find a way.

Whether you will need help, depends on the type you are. Some people are better off on their own, and simply walking through the shallow waves rolling up a beach in warm sunshine does some good. In any case accepting help is not wrong. However, I recommend to do it without drugs if you don't need these. They may keep you going by smoothing things out, but they don't truly help, because it is you who has to develop the strength.

I can give you many valuable tips, how to purify your body, how to balance your diet, how to build yourself up. Just remember to ask when you want to hear these.

The other thing I can recommend is the Radiance Sutras, if you can relate to the spiritual world, if not just skip this paragraph. In principle it is a message from a previous civilization. Most scholars put it at the time of the Bhagavad Gita, but from what I know I can tell you it is much older. I learned about it originally here. Bhairava is another name for Shiva who is also referred to as the lord of terror. But not in a demeaning sense, rather in the sense that there are many things that terrorize us and the way to freedom is not to be afraid.

Learn to live, don't trust this society to tell you what you need to know, find your own way.

Quantomas

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Re: Randomness - vol. IV

Postby Panda Tar » Jun 22 2019, 13:22

Yup, Quantomas is right. Finding your way. My dentist is more akin to what Q described above. He was starting to falter before some things which started to hit him every now and then. Nowadays, he is trying the channeling of energy and some therapies on that branch. I do not know the name, but it was regarding "roots of the family", because one of the main issues was his parents. But I can perceive, given I AM very sensible at finding out what people is feeling around me specially when they are troubled, something else is lurking about. He is a very decent guy, heart of gold, as I was called too several times myself. It is like we channel too much foul energy around, and it gets stuck within us, whether we want or not. We help others without caring about ourselves. Some call us angels for little things we do, little for us, something we even judge normal. Still, we do need to care about ourselves. And that, as hard as it seems to believe, it not a selfish action.

If you manage all that without having to resort to drugs and medication, great! I am not religious. I am sort of spiritual, but not really following anything in particular, tied a lot around nature – not a panda hippie or anything. I like thinking that I am a hopeful for the best of each of us. And I listened to people who love me and whom I love in return. That's why I started psychotherapy. I was not able to take care of what was surmounting me by myself, as I always tried to solve things by my own. I understood some of the hooks pulling me down, but I didn't know how to fight them properly. Besides, I was also unaware that I was trying to deal with them all at once. So, whenever something got dealt with, another would surface. One step at a time, that's the way, that's what I learned in the end. And that I was a helping giver to others, but I was not very good at giving myself help. That was my path.

I will tell a bit about my dentist. My dentist heard of my problem, that I needed some really hardcore things done to my bucal health, from someone else in my gym. I had no way to pay for these, because there were many things to take care of. I was stuck, again, at the 'trying to do everything at once'. But he said he would look into it, then we would think of the next step. In a sense, he was the first person, an acquaintance at that time, that simply helped me regardless everything else. I am talking about people we are not yet friends with. He simply wanted to help. I am very much alike, although I am not dentist. :D Now, he is a very close friend of mine. He told me these days: "I thought that, with some small sacrifices of my part, I knew I could make your life better, by letting you know how important your health is for you and to make you have love for your own health". That's what he said to me. I was really touched. His helping hand started to prompt me into going further into looking into myself to seek for help as well. It was one of the main reasons that made me turn the tide this January against all the negative odds raining down upon me. So now, I do want to help him as well, if his path comes in a way we can help. That's the beauty of helping: it's a mirror. Reflects you actions, and nothing better than seeing smiles reflecting upon you.

You see, people matters.

A last thing, and it seems recurrying whenever I look at: when you are depressed you close yourself. Each person has their own motives. Sometimes you feel ashamed you are unwell. Sometimes you don't want to worry other people (my case). Sometimes you just don't notice that. Sometimes you simply have nobody else to share your time with. If you do have people, don't be alone and don't shut down. I discovered, and that worked for me as a blessing, that our family, and by family I mean people around me that love me and I to them no matter what blood they have, is the best first step and support we possibly have. Trust them.
"There’s nothing to fear but fear itself and maybe some mild to moderate jellification of bones." Cave Johnson, Portal 2. :panda:

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Re: Randomness - vol. IV

Postby Pol » Jul 13 2019, 12:24

Any idea for a new PoTDs?
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Re: Randomness - vol. IV

Postby Orfinn » Jul 20 2019, 23:36

Hello there! Traveling the web, then it occured to me... Celestial Heavens.. Long time, no see AND Im bored. Having vacation at the moment too (also been busy with work, playing all kinds of games while waiting to beta test Mech Warrior 5 mercs in august, 15 years since last game! PS: it will be out in September if you are looking for Mech action break from fantasy ;P)

Anyway. Hope all is well with you people. Glad to see these good ol' forums are still up and running :)

Sidenote: Noticed dark thoughts and gloominess myself, including depression.. And even now a little when theres nothing much to do yet while having a motnh of free time.
We humans are very stubborn, thinking we can just harden ourself against depression, it possible but its easier to wrestle yourself up from the fog, seek help, meet the closest persons you know of and just hang thight. It WILL be better, never give up.
What helps me personally is the general help seeking, but for mild depressions?
Coffee, good games and take a walk out in nature ;)
Last edited by Orfinn on Jul 20 2019, 23:37, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Randomness - vol. IV

Postby Pol » Jul 22 2019, 15:44

What helps in long term is evolution, notice how many people have blue eyes. This is natural adaptation for colder weather from area around the Kaspic sea. One of its advantages is lowered depression from insufficient sun light.

Though, that may be soon more of a disadvantage. :creative:

Work ceaselessly to be happy. Do that in small steps. And bathe your mind in a bits of gained success. Check comedies and happy events/people in general. Ignore all the bad things in News, they will happen anyway and you have no control over them, leaving you uselessly irritated. Study some eastern school of calm mind and read dilbert.com . :P
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Re: Randomness - vol. IV

Postby Panda Tar » Aug 22 2019, 14:49

Well, I ended my would-be relationship on past Saturday. I would be really lured to the entices of that crazy gal, if I was a mindless youth. Given I am not classified as such, it was a good thing stepping away from such madness.

And my mood is great, regardless. :-D
Last edited by Panda Tar on Aug 22 2019, 14:49, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Randomness - vol. IV

Postby Pol » Aug 31 2019, 22:37

Beta Zinq was in the town! At Prague Color 9 festival. And they were great! :D
Steam punk music? Almost ;) Nice work, two girls vocals, two musicians. Splendid show..
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