Round Table Weekly

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[T]osHiro
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Unread postby [T]osHiro » 12 Mar 2006, 03:09

I thought it was the one with the 'I love Big Bird' all over. :hoo:
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Kalah
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Unread postby Kalah » 13 Mar 2006, 09:56

It's Monday and time for the...

Round Table Weekly

Anchor: "This week, we have brought in an expert to demonstrate for us how to complete an operation that is in the minds of all our members – and Kalah, this is something most people should be interested in, isn't it?"
Kalah: "One should think so, yes. Everybody I've ever met online has had this in their minds at one time or another."
Anchor: "I see you have your equipment with you as well as your model... shall we get started? If I just ask you a basic question, such as: Where to start?"
Kalah: "Well, from behind, obviously – anything else would be, like, wrong. So, what I do is just get down on my knees here, strip my model down... like so..., stick my fingers in here and start screwing."
Anchor: "Right. I see you've done that a few times before."
Kalah: "Yeah, I've got some experience. But you don't need it; as long as you take your time and concentrate on what you're doing, even rookies can do this."
Anchor: "And of course they have for some time. But a little demonstration goes a long way, I suppose. Is there any particular technique one should use? Or avoid using?"
Kalah: "No, not really – though there are a few things one should keep in mind. A couple of groundrules, if you will."
Anchor: "Such as?"
Kalah: "Well, be careful, first of all. This is a quite delicate procedure. Don't just stick your hand in and start jiggling it about in there. If you're not careful, you could end up damaging something inside, or injure yourself."
Anchor: "I see. What else?"
Kalah: "Take your time, don't rush, and whatever you do: don't force anything. Don't thrust mindlessly, nor pull out too rapidly... Like, see here, now my tool is stuck... If I just yank it out (hang on, let me open it up for you here, so you can see better), you could damage... see this?"
Anchor: "Ah, yes... whooho, that's quite a distinct smell too, isn't it."
Kalah: "Yeah, it gets like that after a while. So while I'm doing this I might as well give it a bit of a clean."
Anchor: "That's interesting. You don't normally think of cleanliness in this type of situation, it's more like a dirty thing to do – I don't suppose you use soap and water?"
Kalah: "Oh, neeeeu, this is not a place for soap, nor water for that matter."
Anchor: "What if I happen to spill my drink?"
Kalah: "Oh, water is no problem, just wipe it down and make sure it 100% dry before you get back up top. I've heard of people spilling other things, more sticky things, and that could become a problem so you should let a professional handle that."
Anchor: "I see you’ve found the slot, and that took you... forty-eight seconds? That's not bad, is it? And again: you are not rushing."
Kalah: "You have to take your time doing this, it's essential, otherwise it could be the last time you get to do it on this particular one."
Anchor: "Wow, it's that easy? You're just the expert, aren't you?"
Kalah: "Flattery will get you everywhere. Right, I have now taken the cape off, so you can see everything, and it's time... to... stick this in place. There! It's in. And just to make sure it's in properly, I gently push on the topside to see if it touches the bottom... Yup, it's definitely in, tight and secure."
Anchor: "Outstanding. What if you want to take it out again?"
Kalah: "Oh, I wouldn't – at least not for a while. But it's just the same operation in reverse."
Anchor: "Now what?"
Kalah: "Well, reverse. We put the cape back on... like so, screw it in place, and that should be it. After that, we reconnect – forgot to mention that, it is of course essential that the model isn't plugged up when you do this. That could give you the shock of a lifetime when you try to stick your fingers in."
Anchor: "Good to know. So that's it, is it?"
Kalah: "Yup, operation completed in... two minutes, fifty seconds."
Anchor: "Great. Well, I want to thank you for making it to our show."
Kalah: "Oh, you're very welcome, it's a pleasure demonstrating this procedure to the newbies."
Anchor: "Yes, everyone, there you have it – let's have a big hand for our dear guest for his demonstration of how to install more RAM in your computer. That's it for this edition, we'll see you next time."
In War: Resolution, In Defeat: Defiance, In Victory: Magnanimity, In Peace: Goodwill.

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wimfrits
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Unread postby wimfrits » 13 Mar 2006, 10:21

That was brilliant :-D
Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

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DaemianLucifer
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Unread postby DaemianLucifer » 13 Mar 2006, 10:57

ImageImage

Man this is hillarious!But it still doesnt answer a55a55ins question :devious: :devil:

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Orfinn
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Unread postby Orfinn » 13 Mar 2006, 13:21

hahaha, the first sentences gave me a creepy suspicion but at the end not bad at all, hilarious! :rofl: keep it up :tsup:

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ThunderTitan
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Unread postby ThunderTitan » 13 Mar 2006, 14:56

Yeah, now all I need is a bigger RAM. 8| (IMO it's never big enough) :devious:
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Thelonious
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Unread postby Thelonious » 13 Mar 2006, 16:30

I should really check this thread more often. The Kalah and AS intervierws were really hilarious!!! :hoo: :loll: :applause: :rofl:
Grah!

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gravyluvr
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Unread postby gravyluvr » 14 Mar 2006, 01:09

Two thing's a guy will never admit he's bad at...

Driving and Putting in the RAM!
:oex:
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DaemianLucifer
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Unread postby DaemianLucifer » 14 Mar 2006, 06:44

I just wonder what Corribus will say. :devil:

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Corribus
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Unread postby Corribus » 14 Mar 2006, 14:45

DaemianLucifer wrote:I just wonder what Corribus will say. :devil:
I think enough has been said here already. ;)
"What men are poets who can speak of Jupiter if he were like a man, but if he is an immense spinning sphere of methane and ammonia must be silent?" - Richard P. Feynman

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[T]osHiro
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Unread postby [T]osHiro » 15 Mar 2006, 06:09

:lolu: :lolu: :lolu: :lolu: :lolu: :lolu: :lolu: :lolu:
Oh my...oh my.... wooo...woohooohooo.. :hoo:

Oh no, I think I broke my.. *censored*
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Kalah
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Unread postby Kalah » 20 Mar 2006, 23:35

Anchor: "This week, we have decided to grant the seven thousand requests for the appearance of a sauce eater on our show, so without further ado: Gravyluvr, welcome."
Gravyluvr: "Thankyou, thankyou."
Anchor: "Well, like I said, there have been many requests to have you visit our show…"
Gravyluvr: "Yes, indeed!"
Anchor: "…albeit most of them came from you…"
Gravyluvr: "Hm?"
Anchor: "Anyway, we decided to let things fly and have a whack at it."
Gravyluvr: "Come again?"
Anchor: "We had nothing else."
Gravyluvr: "Ah."
Anchor: "So, what are you going to share with us today?"
Gravyluvr: "Glad you asked that."
Anchor: "Well, it's not like I had anything else to…"
Gravyluvr: "It just so happens I have something very exciting for the members: A game called Yog's Diary. Anybody can participate, it's not difficult…"
Anchor: "What's it about, who's Yogi?"
Gravyluvr: "Yog! He's one of the most famous heroes in the series! Anyway, since so many people know about him…"
Anchor: "I didn't."
Gravyluvr: "…we thought it was a good idea to start up a game; people can write their own account of what Yog is doing, sort of like a journal."
Anchor: "But that requires some knowledge about who he was/is, what he does etc.? Won't that be a bit of a limiting factor in how many players you could have?"
Gravyluvr: "Yes, but it's not necessary though – you could always insert some funny fictitious doings without actually deviating from the story."
Anchor: "Still sounds like a game for two players."
Gravyluvr: "Also, there's an auction game going on, in which players can use an allotted amount of gold to bid on various HoMM artefacts."
Anchor: "Now you're talking – this sounds more like something for everyone?"
Gravyluvr: "Everyone indeed, and we're planning to move on to other big things, like campaign making based on Campfire threads, a possible card game, maybe a franchise…"
Anchor: "Right, now let's keep moving. Like I said, most of the requests came from you, but I have a couple of others here, demanding I ask what kind of cookies you like."
Gravyluvr: "… well, potatoes, surely."
Anchor: "Potato cookies. Right. And your favourite food in general?"
Gravyluvr: "Potatoes."
Anchor: "Snack?"
Gravyluvr: "Boiled potatoes."
Anchor: "Health freak. Right, pop quiz. Do you like the Mythbusters?"
Gravyluvr: "Of course."
Anchor: "Will you buy Heroes 5?"
Gravyluvr: "Yes."
Anchor: "Even if it stinks?"
Gravyluvr: "I've got a bad sense of smell anyway."
Anchor: "Fine, that's that over with, let's go now live to our man in the field…"
Gravyluvr: "Waitwait, I thought I was the main attraction here today?"
Anchor: "Yes, well, something more interesting has appeared – breaking news, so to speak; it appears one of Kareeah Indaga's kittens have fallen ill, so let's go now live to…"
In War: Resolution, In Defeat: Defiance, In Victory: Magnanimity, In Peace: Goodwill.

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Orfinn
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Unread postby Orfinn » 21 Mar 2006, 08:04

Haha, brilliant! :lolu:

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theLuckyDragon
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Unread postby theLuckyDragon » 21 Mar 2006, 19:48

Hilarious, as always!
I didn't know Kareeah had kittens...

And hello Snowman Orfinn!
"Not all those who wander are lost." -- JRRT

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Orfinn
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Unread postby Orfinn » 22 Mar 2006, 07:09

theLuckyDragon wrote:And hello Snowman Orfinn!
Im a snowman? :|

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ThunderTitan
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Unread postby ThunderTitan » 22 Mar 2006, 09:29

Orfinn wrote: Im a snowman? :|
Were. At 888.
Disclaimer: May contain sarcasm!
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life. - ???
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Orfinn
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Unread postby Orfinn » 22 Mar 2006, 11:25

ThunderTitan wrote:
Orfinn wrote: Im a snowman? :|
Were. At 888.
Oh well, didnt notice that :cantsee: :butterfly:

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Thelonious
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Unread postby Thelonious » 22 Mar 2006, 14:13

Kalah wrote:Anchor: "Still sounds like a game for two players."
...

;) :D
Grah!

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gravyluvr
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Unread postby gravyluvr » 23 Mar 2006, 04:49

Kalah wrote:Anchor: "it appears one of Kareeah Indaga's kittens have fallen ill, so let's go now live to…"
You are stealing my plot to the seven page entry for Month 4, day 2!

(I made the newf! I made the newf!)
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Kalah
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Unread postby Kalah » 27 Mar 2006, 21:54

Studio Commentary: "Here it is again! The RTW! Flee! Hide! Run for your lives! And those of you who are currently not affected: Watch in amazement and laugh."

Anchor: "Tonight, we bring you the voice of a distant past. Here in our very studio we have secured the presence of a true viking. An explorer, a warrior, wielding axe and wearing pelts across his shoulders. Orfinn, welcome".
Orfinn: "Thanks, where can I put my axe?"
Anchor: "Oh, just leave it there by the door... it's within reach, so don't worry."
Orfinn: "Ah. All right, yes. And I'll leave my mead pitcher here on the desk, shall I? This thing is in the way, so I'll just..."
*noises, followed by silence*
Anchor: "Ah, and we're back. The microphone has to be in the vicinity, I fear, Mr. Orfinn."
Orfinn: "Well, hold on to it then! *mumble* weakling..."
Anchor: "Ah... well, oh! I see our soundman is coming in with one of those long poles. There we are! Now, Mr. Orfinn, you are a true descendant of the proud vikings of Norway, is that right?"
Orfinn: "Aye, this is true, I..."
Anchor: "Lots of them, was there?"
Orfinn: "Yes, and I am proud to represent the..."
Anchor: "My sources claim the people who were living in Norway in the so-called viking-age was not exactly plentiful?"
Orfinn: "Well, they were plentiful enough to bring forth from their loins this most radiant flower you see before you now; the..."
Anchor: "My friend the mediaeval professor says the amount of people 'going into viking' - i.e. leaving the country on raiding or trading expeditions was quite small; that the ability to undertake such adventures would be restricted to those rich and powerful enough to equip one or more ships and stay abroad for several months. And what of those people who lived in the interior?"
Orfinn: "Errr... what?"
Anchor: "My point is that there weren't that many actual vikings around!"
Orfinn: "Oh."
Anchor: "You see?"
Orfinn: "... yes."
Anchor: "And since the last actual viking lived some two thousand years ago, how is it sure that you are a descendant of one of those?"
Orfinn: "Well, Norway hasn't had much immigration through the years - it's only the last couple of centuries we've seen an actual settling of foreigners from outside Scandinavia."
Anchor: "True that, but let us turn the matter of the mead you brought with you..."
Orfinn: "Yes! *slurrrrpp!!* I drink mead as my ancestors did."
Anchor: "Ancestors... *mumble* ..anyway, it's real mead this?"
Orfinn: "Yup!"
Anchor: "How'd you get it?"
Orfinn: "I brew my own."
Anchor: "And this is what the people in today's Norway had to drink back then, is it?""
Orfinn: "You bet!"
Anchor: "Yeah, I'll take that bet. I wager you my trousers, tie and suspenders against a month of your personal service - that the people were drinking lots of water, milk, ale and only occasionally mead."
Orfinn: "Oh?"
Anchor: "Number one: water was a plentiful resource, and not as dangerous to drink as the typhoid causing well-water in the rest of Europe."
Orfinn: "Granted. Water still is abundant in our lands."
Anchor: "Cow's milk was not as plentiful, as only the richer people owned cattle, yet goat's milk was drunk by children and adults alike. And some historians theorise the bad relationship between the American indians..."
Orfinn: "The scraelings."
Anchor: "...yes, between the scraelings and the vikings settling in America was caused by the fact that the vikings drank milk whilst the indians were lactose intolerant."
Orfinn: "Eh??"
Anchor: "That aside, it is generally accepted that the Norsemen drank milk."
Orfinn: "Oh, well."
Anchor: "Then to the ale brewing."
Orfinn: "Yess! Lots of that. Skaal!" *slurrrrpp!!*
Anchor: "Surely… watch it, you're spilling all over the floor here."
Orfinn: "Vikings are allowed to do that."
Anchor: "So what I was saying, while the English and other peoples living further south drank brew to avoid typhoid fever - and so drank it very often - the Norsemen did not have that problem. So..."
Orfinn: "So..?"
Anchor: "So, they only drank the stuff at parties."
Orfinn: "Gilde."
Anchor: "Yes, a big party, a total hullabaloo in which every man, woman and child got drunk as skunks."
Orfinn: "In the best traditions of the Norwegian people."
Anchor: "At least we still have that. So they did drink mead, but only occasionally. Now to the matter of the climate."
Orfinn: "There's more?"
Anchor: "Oh, I will make you my servant yet. I have spoken to some of those absolutely gorgeous meteorologists over at Storm Weather Center - and I checked this info with other sources - and according to them, the middle ages were warmer than modern times."
Orfinn: "Ouch."
Anchor: "And the majority of the people referred to as vikings lived south of Halogaland in the mid part of the country, on the coast?"
Orfinn: "Yeees?"
Anchor: "And the coldest part of the country is further up north, inland?"
Orfinn: "... ah."
Anchor: "And the cold is only here in the winter isn't it?"
Orfinn: "Yes, but I'm telling you, it was cold!"
Anchor: "Be that as it may, it's not too cold now, is it? Unless you go to the far north and sit down in a place your mead would freeze."
Orfinn: "Well, the summer is very warm... and there are roughly ten years between every really snowy winter..."
Anchor: "So... summing up: chances are, you are not really a true viking descendant, then?"
Orfinn: "Well, yes.. no, I suppose not. There weren't that many of them, I guess."
Anchor: "This mead you drink isn't really what the people of Norway in general drank back then?"
Orfinn: "Well, no... I guess not."
Anchor: "And the median climate in Norway was not, and is not, as cold as you'd like your fridge to be?"
Orfinn: "Can't argue with the weather bab... *errr...* meteorologists."
Anchor: "Well, my work here is done. Please, drink up - and don't spill anything. Only real vikings get to do that, you know. Oh, and turn the lights out when you leave."
Orfinn: "Yes, Sir. Sweep the floor, shall I?"
Anchor: "Yes. And pancakes for breakfast tomorrow."
Orfinn: "Yes, Sir."

Studio Commentary: "Phew! Just beat the deadline. That's it for this edition; next week it's some other poor sod's turn. Will it be you??"
In War: Resolution, In Defeat: Defiance, In Victory: Magnanimity, In Peace: Goodwill.


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